“I don’t understand.  She was my young fiancée, he was my sexually virile best friend, and they just drove off in my Bugatti Sexarossa.  How could this ever have happened?”  This line from C. Montgomery Burns, Homer’s boss on the Simpsons.  The Bugatti certainly is the car of billionaires like the fictional Burns character and so it must have come as quite a shock for one family who opened a dusty garage of a deceased relative only to find the car that dreams are made of, according to the New York Times:

“Dr. Harold Carr, an orthopedic surgeon in England, was a recluse in his later years, according to relatives. He never married or had children. So when the doctor died in 2007 at the age of 89, few knew what to expect inside his dusty garage. The last thing Dr. Carr’s relatives expected to find was one of the rarest cars in the world, a 1937 Bugatti 57S Atalante, which The Associated Press said was one of 17 in existence.”

The doctor apparently bought the car decades ago, drove it sparcly, and then had it garaged to be left for posterity.  When found, the car had only around 27 thousand miles and was almost completely original in terms of parts.  The is quite a rare classic car and it certainly has come about in an nusual way.  Perhaps this interesting past will come in handy when the car is auctioned later this year.  Estimates place the car at upwards of 4 million dollars!

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NBA legend Charles Barkley is no stranger to controversy.  He is as a famous for his dramatic post NBA weight gain, horrid golf swing, and recent gambling addiction as he was for his time with the 76ers and Suns.  Since news broke about Barkley’s large gambling debt Sir Charles has maintained a low profile…until December 31st.  Barkley was picked up while driving his car for DUI according to the New York Daily News:

“Barkley, 45, was pulled over around 1:30 a.m. A cop saw him blow through a red light, then pull over to pick up the woman, who wasn’t charged. “

Who was this woman and what was she doing in Barkley’s car?  “I was going to drive around the corner and get [oral sex],” the basketball Hall of Famer told police in Scottsdale, Ariz., a police report said.” (Source New York Daily News.) 

Barkley looks haggard and sweaty in his mug shot and the man himself seems to be showing remorse, or at least guilt for being caught.  The arrest came on the heels of a night of partying with former New York Giant Michael Strahan and Urkel…yes, Urkel.  Barkley had spent large quantities of money on expensive alcohol before leaving the club.  Perhaps the most amusing detail of the night is after his arrest  Barkley offered to have the arresting officer’s name tattooed on his butt if he would let him go, but this angle did not work for Sir Charles.  

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What do most Americans have in common?  We are fat and we have gas problems.  Whoa!  Slow down.  Not that kind of gas problem, a fuel problem if I am to be specific.  Well what would be the perfect situation to arise out of our rotund, fuel starved existence?  Using fat for fuel.  Yup.  Apparently you can do it and apparently it has been done.  

Dr. Craig Alan Bittner has apprently been taking the fat from all the liposcution he performs and using it as a form of biodeisel.   The Christian Science Monitor is reporting that Bittner tells his clients where the fat is going that he extrudes:

“The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel – and I have more fat than I can use,” Bittner wrote on lipodiesel.com. “Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth.” 

Apparently the California Department of Public Health is not very pleased with the good doctor’s efforts however.  Since there are laws and rules dictating what can and cannot be done with medical waste, Bittner has apparently drawn the ire of officials.  Ire aside, how innovative!  What a perfect solution to two of our biggest problems.  So don’t put down that doughnut and have another slice of pizza, it may soon be sucked out of you and put in the back of your 68′ Rambler.  

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If you are looking for another indication of how bad the car market is hurting, and in turn, how bad the banking industry is still hurting please consider the following.  It seems that lending companies have started to take drastic steps to get back revenue lost in seizures.  Companies have actually started suing people who have had their cars repossessed.  The reason: depreciation.  The same depreciation that kills the value of your car as soon as your dive it off a lot also effects the bank when they attempt to sell the car.  In turn banks are looking to make up the difference from the former owner.

MSNBC is reporting that the former owners are shocked at the lawsuits:

“They were completely stunned that if they gave the car back they couldn’t just walk away from the deal,” Tischhauser said. Deficiency judgments are “a microcosm of what’s happening in the housing market.” 

This cannot be good for banks or car companies.  Who in their right mind is going to buy a car if they know (with this bad economy) that said car if repossessed could also mean a hefty lawsuit?  I think this move will end up back firing on the lending companies for the simple reason that it will alienate potential car buyers.  Banks are going to need a positive image boost and this is certainly not a move in the right direction. 

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If you are looking for more incentive to buy a new car and have that car shipped to you rather then rent, here is some information for you.  It seems that car rental companies are raising rates across the board in an effort to remain profitable.  On top of that these companies are also slashing jobs to keep a healthy bottom line.  According to USA Today there are several reasons for these changes:

“Besides the weak economy, demand for rental cars has dropped because there are fewer airline passengers to rent cars at airports, and corporations have reduced business travel, says the Standard & Poor’s report by analyst Betsy Snyder.

The car rental companies have also been hurt by their fleet-acquisition policies.

In the past, car rental companies bought most vehicles under repurchase programs that allowed them to sell the vehicles back to manufacturers in a relatively short period, Snyder says. But now the car rental companies buy about half their vehicles without such programs and must sell them on the used car market.”

USA Today goes on to explain that drivers of rentals are finding cars with more miles, that are dirtier, and have more mechanical problems then they might have in the past.  This is due to the longer ownership of the vehicles and job cuts withing the company.  Coupled with the slashed prices of new cars, it seems like now is a much better time to buy then rent a vehicle. 

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What is worse then shooting yourself in the leg, and getting more or less kicked off the best team in football because of your own stupidity?  Wrecking your uninsured $140,000 Mercedes, that’s what.  This is the dilemma that New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress finds himself in these days.  You may remember that Plaxico recently went clubbing with another member of the team.  While inside he fumbled (no pun intended) with a handgun in his waist band that went off, shooting him in the leg.  After that he made an attempt to hid the evidence and seek medical treatment under a false name.

Now the new drama iin Burress’ life is rear ending a woman in Florida.  According to the New York Daily News Burress hit the woman while driving uninsured:

“Alise Smith, 27, of Miamisaid she suffered neck and back injuries in May when a tailgating Burress rear-ended her 1997 Ford Probe with his $140,000 Mercedes-Benz.

Compounding Burress’ problems was that he failed to make his insurance payments and his Allstate coverage was terminated three days before the crash. “

So there you have it.  There are so many lessons to be learned from Burress.  1) Don’t shoot yourself in the leg (pretty obvious if you ask me) 2) Don’t get benched by the best team in football due to your own foolish decisions 3) If you are going to rear end people in your $140,000 car…get it insured! 

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Things aren’t looking too Christmas-like in Russia these days.  The country is actually in the midst of large scale riots because, of all things:cars.  It seems that the Russian government has taken it upon themselves to raise tariffs on used imported autos.  The major target of these tariffs are Japanese autos.  According to the AFP Russian president Putin sees no reason for concern: 

“Putin confirmed Friday the government would not cancel its decision on tariffs, saying it would rather pay to ship Russian-assembled cars to the Far East than see its residents buy Japanese-made models.

The protests have been roundly dismissed by Deputy Prime Minister Igor Sechin, a close ally of the former president. “Some kind of swindlers are provoking this,” he said, quoted in the Kommersant newspaper.”

Thus far 200 people have been detained from the riots which have grown in size to the thousands.  These riots should serve as a really good lesson to governments that you should not fool around with tariffs.  The Russian government thinks that by making foreign cars more expensive that they will be forcing citizens to buy cheaper, non-tariff domestic autos.  While this effect will come about it will be at the expense of the Russian people who no must empty their pockets for an inferior product.  Is this the return of communism?  Simply put this is an underhanded iron fist stealing the economic freedom from the people of Russia.  While the US has her own auto problems…do you see a tariff in our future?

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More signs of the European connection to the failing US auto market.  The International Herald Tribune is reporting that car sales are way down all over the globe and that there is a direct link to the failing US market:

Sales slumped 39 percent at GM and 56 percent at Chrysler after they told the U.S. Congress that they were running out of cash. Volkswagen fared best among major automakers, with deliveries down 16 percent.

European business and consumer confidence fell to a 15-year low in November as advanced economies suffered their first simultaneous recession in more than 60 years. Britain and Spain had the steepest drops among major markets, with East European sales also weaker. Registrations for the first 11 months of the year slid 7.1 percent, accelerating from a 5.4 percent decline through October.

The article goes one to state that a few car companies have seem improved sales over the month of November, Audi for one, but the overall picture remains bleak.  The brunt of the economic wrath seems to be hitting upscale autos in large proportion as well.  The International Herald Tribune reports a 55 percent drop in sales for the company Land Rover for instance.  Some Euro car manufacturers have even gone the bailout route in hope of staying afloat.  One company that has been looking for a bailout: Ople.  The irony is that Ople is a subsidiary of GM.  Go figure.

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In another bit of good news for the auto industry, top executives of foreign car interests have started voicing some major concerns over the fate of the big three.  According the the New York Times the ramifications would be global if Ford, GM, and Chrysler were to collapse:

Ferdinand Dudenhöffer, director of the Center for Automotive Research in Gelsenkirchen, Germany, warned that the indirect effect of a potential G.M. collapse for American parts makers would be severe. He added that German manufacturers in the United States, like Mercedes and Bayerische Motoren Werke, the maker of BMW cars, would have to rethink not just their American supply chains but their global ones as well.

“There would be no winners, only losers,” Mr. Dudenhöffer said. “This would create a huge mess around the world.”

Even though US car companies seem to be getting out of the world car market; the attempted sale of Volvo, and the sale of Jaguar come to mind, it seems obvious now that the failure of these American car companies would have a real global impact.  This could be taken in many ways, but one that you may not have thought of is the fact that this “global economy” (to use the catch phrase) depends of all parts of the machine working well.  When people talk about protecting American jobs, be skeptical and remember that if a Japanese car company is doing well and taking our jobs that we are inspired to be better ourselves.  The current crisis is a long overdue tightening of the belt and hopefully a purge of the Union labor that has killed the big three.

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It seems that the spawn of Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards were involved in a car accident in early December.  According to eonline.com both children escaped the accident without major harm:

Sam, 4, and Lola, 3, were being driven around by their nanny in a Mercedes SUV when the driver of a Honda made a sudden left turn, cut them off and hit two other vehicles.

Sheen, who inexplicably still has an acting career had the following to say through his rep:

“I spoke to Charlie and the girls are fine. He is very grateful because the accident could have been worse. He was very grateful the girls were in their car seats and for the safety features of Mercedes.”

The safety features of the Mercedes?  Did I just hear a cash register ring?  I wouldn’t put it past Sheen or Richards to make some money off of this accident.  In fact, sources close to Richards have declared that the actress is desperate for money and willing to do anything short of full on pornography to make some money. 

On the bright side both children are safe (probably safer in the car with the nanny then outside with their parents anyway) and the Mercedes did indeed do it’s job.  I suppose this is another kick in the teeth to American car companies: “Foreign cars save celebrity spawn’s lives.”  Catchy.

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